I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
