i think my mom watched the whole time
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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