Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
