I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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