how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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