butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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