U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
