omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
