I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
