i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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