If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
