you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
