Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
