Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
