Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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