Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
