Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
