it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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