Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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