Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize