They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
