I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
