she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
