It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize