Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
