i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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