Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
false alarm, still single
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
