I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
