Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
