I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I deserve this hangover.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
