I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
