Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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