I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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