she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
