I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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