Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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