We're like a lot better than the average bears
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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