i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she peed on how many people?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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