I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
