then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize