Duck Duck Cougar?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
