Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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