Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
