I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
