These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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