I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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