I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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