So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
