Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
