Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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