So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
