He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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