apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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