I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
