I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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