covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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