You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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