I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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