And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
