this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
