You're so nebulous sometimes
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
