Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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