I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
