and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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