omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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