Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
