sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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