If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
