You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
