Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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